Love in Arranged Marriages

While people do have their fair share of relationships prior to their marriage, arranged marriages are still very common in India, even in modern circles. The old adage “arranged marriages have a higher success rate than love marriages” seems to keep them alive to this day. Also, the fact that most of the youth are inept when it comes to interacting with the opposite gender but do seek a companion, leaves arranged marriages the only viable option.

However,with all the flak that arranged marriages have received, they do seem at least a little effective. We ourselves must be children of parents who had arranged marriages, and while there are the usual married couple quarrels, our parents do seem to be very much in love.

The Build-up

In an arranged marriage, both you and your spouse would have interacted with numerous potential life partners before agreeing to each other. This way arranged marriage couples have it tough, as they’re screened far more strictly. Finding “the one” amidst several other deserving candidates is difficult.

After the alliance has been approved by both parties, the couples begin interacting and getting to know each other at a deeper level. The awkward initial first month is one of the most cherished periods.

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The Mindset

Couples of love marriages expect their marital life to be a bed of roses. They believe there will be as much romance for the remainder of their lives as there was when they were dating. They are oblivious to realities such as compromise, adjustment, sacrifice, all of which are a big part of marriage.
Couples whose alliance was arranged, expect a lot of hurdles from the beginning, so they aren’t surprised when they are faced with one or many. They try to resolve it and work around it as all this was most likely expected and well thought out. They manage to adjust and compromising more easily as an arranged marriage itself is kind of a compromise.

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The Journey

The “Honeymoon Phase” in love marriages is generally very short-lived. The couple already knew each other well prior to the marriage, there is only so much more they can love each other. In an arranged marriage, everything about your partner is a mystery. Since you start with a clean slate, your love can only grow. This aspect makes arranged marriages more exciting as well.

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The Mystery and Excitement

The whole premise of two strangers put together in a situation that demands proximity is stuff that makes erotic literature. An arranged marriage in a way has the most romantic start. You’re left alone with a person with their own set of secrets, quirks, fetishes, and desires, and they are all yours to explore. Your initial days of getting to know each other are an adventure in and of themselves. This attitude may permeate into the rest of your married life.

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The Aftermath

To go along with an arranged marriage requires immense faith in the institution of marriage. As you begin living with your partner, you can observe patterns in their behaviour and begin noticing their qualities. You can even ask them what they’d do in certain situations to know the kind of people they are.

In an arranged marriage you overcome your shortcoming whilst putting forth your positive traits and attempt to persuade the other to fall in love with you. You learn to accept each other as they are, and this itself is a joy in and of itself, to be loved unconditionally.

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In Conclusion

That being said, while an arranged marriage is off late disregarded for being too regressive, it comes with its own thrills. Arranged marriages shouldn’t be shunned as many couples of arranged marriages too are very much in love with each other. Marriage, love or arranged, is what you make of it.

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